Jesus, tell me what I want! (part 2)

"Ezra wept, prostrate in front of the Temple of God. As he prayed and confessed, a huge number of the men, women, and children of Israel gathered around him. All the people were now weeping as if their hearts would break." ~ Ezra 10:1, The Message Bible

"I am learning when You build, it feels like You tear me apart/ And when You heal, it always leaves a scar/ And even when You fill, You leave me with a beggar's heart" ~ a new yet-to-be-recorded song by someone I love

"...rebuild the Temple. Do it just for me. Honor Me.
You have had great ambitions for yourselves, but nothing has come of it....
Get to work! ...I am with you!
I am living and breathing among you right now. Don't be timid. DON'T HOLD BACK." ~ Haggai 1:9, 2:5, The Message Bible


I finished that last post, talked to my Love on the phone for a moment- reception is bad when you are driving through somewhere in Kansas- so it was a short one. I got up with frustration about cell phones and traveling husbands sticking to my inward person, got a drink of water, and went to find something else to do...but when I walked past my Bible and the CS Lewis story both open on the couch, I felt my that inner person reaching out from underneath my pettiness...reaching for those books and the 'stirred up' place I had just been.

I knew there was going to be several parts to this post...they have been brewing...suddenly I was reminded of a verse in Proverbs 3 that says something about not putting off until tomorrow the good thing you can do today. Tomorrow my hubby is coming home and turning 29 and tomorrow will be a harder day to carve out a quiet moment. I pray that God will use my feeble words and wandering heart to birth into your life something that will grow and multiply!

So let's start with a little history lesson...and I am no history buff...so put away your notions of High School American history and your boring teacher who made you memorize lists of dates and strange names...its not that kind of history lesson...its more of 'context lesson'... think of it more along the lines of archeology...digging out on piece and then placing it into the right storyline....

More excited now? (me too *grin*)

The book of Haggai is actually named after a man...who had the unfortunate lot of being named Haggai. But while is name was unforunate, his life was not. He was a prophet, which means that God spoke directly to him and gave him messages to share with the rest of God's people. He acted as the mouthpeice of God...he was the middle man...

As we discovered in the last post, Haggai's words to the people were from God and urged the people to think about their lives...to examine them...to not set aside their disappointments, but rather to really consider them. In the verses I listed at the top of this blog, we learn that God is also urging them to build the Temple.

Now put on your archeology hats, friends. So where do these words from God fit into the storyline of the Bible?[ Since the Bible wasn't put together in chronological order and since these words didn't just come randomly, we need to work at putting the pieces of the puzzle together...]

What is Nehemiah? What is Ezra? Correct! (anyone else love Jeopardy?) Haggai was a prophet during the time that Ezra and Nehemiah were leaders in Israel. Just prior to their leadership, the Israelites had been in captivity. In fact, Nehemiah was the cupbearer for the King of the country that had subjugated them. After learning about how the Temple and the walls of Jerusalem had been destroyed, Nehemiah was distraught and mourned. God gave him favor in the eyes of the King, and the King allowed him to return and take some men and begin rebuilding the walls. Later, the scribe Ezra, a little known hero in the Bible, returns as well with men and oversees the rebuilding of the temple. It is during this rebuilding, that God speaks through Haggai.

You see, the rebuilding was tough... they had many enemies and much opposition... and even though numerous times in both Ezra and Nehemiah is says "the hand of God was upon them" eventually the building was haulted and remained unfinished for years. What had once been a passion motivated by love for their God and His dwelling place, had cooled into something far less. The flames had become embers.

So what did the people start doing? They start building their own homes. The Temple (what God calls his Home) is unfinished. The walls around the city are unfinished. But the people build their own homes. They get preoccupied. The have "great ambitions for themselves".

It is at this moment, that the Word of the Lord comes and exposes that their ambitions are amounting to nothingness. He exposes the business and planning as nothing more than a hiding place for their disappointment.

Isn't that just the way we are? Be honest with yourself for a minute... no one knows you are reading this blog, no one can see into your life...just be honest with yourself...

Didn't you start out burning up with passion for God? burning with Love? compelled to build His Kingdom? So utterly consumed that you pushed aside your own building projects, your own comfort, your own ambitions in order to see His visions and purposes fleshed out? And haven't there been many enemies of your love? much opposition to your passion? And perhaps at some point, the the Temple project was haulted and put on the back burner... and perhaps- just maybe- you got distracted- you WANTED to be distracted- and weren't your life and comfort and ambitions....weren't they just the most obvious distractions? so you rolled your sleeves back up, happy to have something to DO, and you started working. and you have to KEEP working so you don't have to think... so you don't have to think about how empty your ambitions are...so you don't have to wrestle with the disappointment that plagues your life? You have found a good hiding place, my friend. And you are not alone.

But what if the very Word of God is speaking into this moment....speaking to you... What if the same God who spoke the galaxies into existance is saying to you "Build my Temple. Honor me." what if in love He is wooing you, "Do it just for me." What if He is promising you won't be alone with the strong words, "I AM WITH YOU." What if He just wants to remind you that He is, in fact, living and breathing right where you are now...sitting at your computer with the worries of life close, stealing a moment away from the kids as tired as you've ever been, mourning a private loss....? What are you going to do with His plea "Don't be timid! DON'T HOLD BACK."...

I know its easy to just read words and move on with life. Please don't...just listen...let yourself feel...let yourself long...cry, if you can feel it welling up in you...

Ezra learned of the sin of his people and he stumbled to the temple and fell on his face and wept and repented and mourned....the people gathered around him...old men, gruff dads, tired moms, rebellious teenagers, little children... they came near to this weeping man and it affected them so that they began weeping "as if their hearts would break."

And they will break...and they should. Brokenness is the seed of healing. Its time for our hearts, as the sons and daughters, to break over our personal and collective rebellion. Its time to be broken over the unfinished Temple and the walls that have been laid bare...Its time to put down our own ambitions...to pull back the cover of busyness to expose the depth of disappoinment...to weep...and then to begin again...to do it just for Him....to Honor Him...to NOT HOLD BACK.

I know its scary to look at the brokenness...especially for those of us who have really made a mess of things...even huge things that seem unmendable... We wonder, can healing really reach here? Isaiah exclaimed "His hand is not too short!" in response to the same question... The tender, long arms of God extend into your Past and into your Future and all the while He is living and breathing right where you are...there is nothing so broken that it cannot be fixed, friend. Nothing. If God is FOR you, who/what can be against you?!?!?

A dear friend of mine from way back called last week and we chatted. The world has come crashing down on him. He didn't know what it was he wanted...he thought he did, but it was a lie he bought into. And now its all come crashing down and I cried as I listened to how devastating it is. He can't see a way out. He's only 26 and he can't see how anything can ever be different for him now. He doesn't know what he wants.

I felt the Lord whisper in my heart a verse for him that I haven't thought about in awhile...its from the Gospels...words originally spoken by Isaiah to tell about the Savior that would come...After Jesus goes about healing the sick, the words seem to fit so well, that Isaiah is quoted.

""Here is my servant whom I have chosen (speaking of Jesus),
the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A BRUISED REED HE WILL NOT BREAK,
AND A SMOLDERING WICK HE WILL NOT SNUFF OUT,
he leads justice to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope." (Matthew 12: 18-21)

This is the personality of the One person you can trust...you can be broken with Him...you can cry with Him...you can put your hope in Him...you can ask Him "Jesus, tender friend, what do I want?"

You can trust Him. He won't snuff out what little passion remains. He won't break you, no matter how bruised you are. You can trust Him. Go head, ask him... What do you want?

His words are tender, but seldom easy...I doubt He will tell you that you want an easy life and lots of money and human power and good looks... He's not going to help you build your ambitions...but He will tell you who you are and call you to a better purpose...to real life... whatever He tells you, it will be the truth...You can trust His heart and His intentions toward you.

I will leave you with the words of a song that I can't wait for you someday to hear:...I hope that as God builds and heals and fills you think of these words so that your heart does not become discouraged. God is not like we are...His ways are higher than ours...and often not what we expect...

When God 'built' Jacob (gen 32) at the turning point of his life, HE also wrestled with him and left Jacob with a limp that remained his whole life...in fact, his limp became a sacred sign to all of the Isrealites.. Some of your limps will remain... the good news is that they can become a sacred symbol of the redemptive work of God!

"I am learning when You build, it feels like You tear me apart/ And when You heal, it always leaves a scar/ And even when You fill, You leave me with a beggar's heart"

JESUS, TELL US WHAT WE WANT! BUILD AND HEAL AND FILL...and please leave us with insatiably hungry hearts.