Jesus tell me what I want! [part 3- final installment]

"that's a little stone/that's a little mortar/ that's a little seed/that's a little water/ in the hearts of the sons and daughters/ His Kingdom is coming" ~ Sara Groves "Kingdom Come"

"His [John the Baptist, cousin of Jesus] message was simple and austere, like his desert surroundings: 'CHANGE YOUR LIFE! GOD'S KINGDOM IS HERE!"

"This Temple in the end is going to be far better than it started out, a glorious beginning, but an even more glorious finish: a place in which I will hand out wholeness and holiness..." ~ Haggai 2:9

"...He told us quite plainly- he'll also rock the heavens: 'One last shaking- from top to bottom, stem to stern.' The phrase 'one last shaking' means a thorough housecleaning, getting rid of all of the religious and historical junk so that the UNSHAKABLE essentials stand clear and uncluttered.

Do you see what we've got? AN UNSHAKABLE KINGDOM! And you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For is NOT an indifferent bystander. He's actively cleaning house, torching what needs to burn, and he won't quit until its all cleansed. God himself is a fire!" ~ Hebrews 12:25-29

"I believe in Christianity as I believe in the sun...not because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." ~ CS Lewis


We left the last post, coming to terms with our brokenness and the healing of God that often leaves us scarred. I think if we make it that far...its often the place we stop... Even when pain is turned into joy and we are freed from our self-made snares and when we have tasted a bit of sweetness in the midst of losing ourselves...even then and maybe even especially then, we are prone to stop and camp out...we are prone to not move forward.

If its not true for you, it is at least very true with me.

I sat here for a moment and had to ask myself why? why when I admit my emptiness and mourn and experience the movement of God toward me...why then, of all times, do I find myself either standing still or (worse) traveling back to my former captivity?

Why?

Because sometimes even when I learn a little of what I want, I still don't understand it.

I mean, why would I really want a park full of rainbows more than I would being 10lbs thinner? It isn't practical. And sure, its good and true and right that I want to build the Temple and be a part of the Kingdom....I can feel the desire swelling in me, I am moved to tears, I feel so impassioned that I want to run a marathon!

But then I am not sure what to do. I don;t understand what I want.

In my life, I have done one of two things in this moment. Either: one, i have in my not knowing what to do, become quite religious. Not because I felt compelled to it, not out of love, not in response to an enraptured heart. But simply, because I needed something to DO. And I didn't know what to DO to build the Kingdom, so I instead settled for a badly photocopied representation of the real thing. The second thing I sometimes find myself doing is simpler still: I get discouraged and give up. I turn in my passion for embers. I start piddling around about my own life. I start hiding.

John, the forerunner and cousin of Jesus, told anyone who would listen "Change your life! God's Kingdom is here!" That happened thousands of years ago and unless it came and went, it must still be...well, 'here'. But where? What does it look like? where can we find it?

We get one clue from the mouth of our new friend, Haggai. He says the first temple (before it was torn down) was glorious, but that the new one was even MORE glorious! This statement is a parallel, friends. Did you know that Jesus referred to himself as the temple, saying that the temple would be torn down and then rebuilt in 3 days? Did you know He was speaking, in a kind of riddle, about his own death and resurrection? He was...this statement about the Temple is a foreshadowing of Jesus and Haggai says that at the new Temple wholeness and holiness will be handed out! And handed out by whom? God Himself.

Let's call that clue number one...the Kingdom will be a place where we can come and get wholeness and holiness...

You might be wondering...well if the Kingdom is so important...than why can't we just nail down what it is? Why can't we just a good, reliable definition? Why can't we just set a standard? Why didn't Jesus make it more clear?!?!? He said "its here!' but then its so hard to find....why?

Good question. I have the same one. The only thing I know is that it is important and Jesus talks about it all the time throughout the Gospels...only he never says the words "the Kingdom is" without throwing he word "like" in there... For instance, most clues about the kingdom are phrased exactly this way:

"The Kingdom of heaven is LIKE..."

Want some expamples? Okay...here you go:

"The Kingdom of heaven is LIKE...a man who sowed good seed in his field, a mustard seed, a woman who took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough, a treasure hidden in a field, a merchant looking for fine pearls, a net that was let down into a lake and caught all kinds of fish, the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old, a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard..." and all of these examples come from just a few chapters in the heart of Matthew!

There is so much to be explored about the Kingdom...and I think maybe that's part of the reason why its not so spelled out for us...because its not something you Do and check off a list, but rather something you seek and BECOME. [hmmm...let's explore the examples more deeply in the next post..that I promise will have a new title :) ]

The end of Haggai has this strange little notation where God says that He will come and shake the heavens and the earth...I have always really wondered about that...what does it mean? What is the significance? I found out recently that that little passage is quoted later on by the writer of Hebrews... so I went to chapter 12 to see if it gave any more clarification.

Chapter 12 falls in right after chapter 11, sometimes called "the Hall of Faith" because it lists faithful heroes...This chapter begins by reminding us of what others have gone through (including Jesus!) and urging us to continue to press on...its speaks of disicpline and again urges us on...then it diverts unexpectedly contrasting two mountains, both significant in the Israeli's history. One of those mountains is Sinai and the other Zion. Now Mount Sinai is the mountain where Abraham was given the 10 commandments... in case you have only heard the nice Sunday School version, let's revisit the scene.

The mountain looked absolutely terrifying as God's presence settled on it...it was black and firey and partially hidden by smoke and thunder echoed off of it. God told Moses that if anyone- even an animal- touched the mountain, they would die... He warned them to stay away...not that He needed to...the people begged Moses to go and "hear from God for them" so they wouldn't have to draw near. And when Moses came down, his face was so bright that he had to cover his face so people could look him...sounds more like a horror film than the Bible, huh? [and people say its boring- go figure]

The writer of Hebrews says this is not the mountain we come to, but that instead we come to Mount Zion. He goes on to describe the this mountain as the place where Jesus' blood speaks on our behalf, where angels and the heroes of old cheer us on, and where God LIVES.

This is the context where Haggai's words are spoken again. God will come and shake even the heavens and all religious nonsense and everything that we did that was useless will fall away.... and what will remain are the "UNSHAKABLE essentials" and just when we were about to ask what those things are, the writer answers our question by saying we should be thankful and full of worship for the UNSHAKABLE KINGDOM we have recieved.

I have got to be honest with you, that just hearing the word 'unshakable' gets my blood pumping... I know I want that. I know I want something unshakable...something secure...something to trust...somewhere to plant my feet and stand. This is something I want.

I just don't understand it. Fully. Yet.

It doesn't quite sound as bad when I add in those words, huh? "fully." "Yet"

hmm....the good news is this, friends: We are all in the same boat. We don't know what we want. And even when we get a glimpse and for a moment feel/know/taste/love what we truly want and were made for, we still don't understand what we want. Fully. Yet. The best news is that the Bibles say "now we see in part, but then [when Jesus comes] we know FULLY even as we are FULLY KNOWN! Sink your teeth into that...

The question is, what do we do until then?

Remember the friend I mentioned in my last post? Well when we were talking that night, he said basically: "I have not completely lost my faith, but if one f***ing thing is true about Christianity than its just all hellish until one day I die and hopefully go to heaven. What is the hope, Kate? Why get out of bed in the morning and go to work just so I can have a place to live and food on the table so I can get up and go to work and keep doing that until I die and hopefully then its better? What makes people hope?"

He thought he was asking me a philosophical question, but I heard a plea for life...the kind of life Jesus died to give us...life ABUNDANTLY...the kind of life that causes us to be thankful and filled to the brim with worship...the kind of life that is pregnant with hope and bursting with possibility and enraptured with wonder....

He wants it. He just doesn't understand it.

It would be horrible if his description of Christianity was correct, wouldn't it? That would sure make for a cruel God...One who would tell us on the other side things are better and then force us to stay in misery for 60-ish years. I think my friend has made a very sad error in his assessment of the heart of God, but he does bring up a good point. Once we believe, why aren't we just whisked off to heaven?

Transformation, anyone?

Maybe its not just all about getting to heaven and escaping this life....maybe even though its called "the Kingdom of Heaven" maybe it exists outside of heaven's parameters...or maybe Heaven just doesn't have any!

If I could've shared anything with my friend that night and if I can share anything with you right now, it would be this idea that God planted in my heart while we talked... Maybe the Kingdom of heaven is, among other things, the beauty and reality of the Future Eternal Hope (heaven) in the now of our lives.

Ok...deep breath. Digest this:

Perhaps the Kingdom of God is here, right now...all over the world from the underground Church in China to Africa where those dying of AIDS are learning about Jesus and be transformed to your life, in the small victories and heart changes God is inspiring in you!

Maybe, just maybe, the Kingdom of God is the reality of the Future Eternal Hope living and breathing and growing in the NOW of our lives.

I think Sara Groves said it a lot more concisely and perfectly than I have...

When anger fills your heart
When in your pain and hurt
You find the strength to stop
You bless instead of curse

When doubting floods your soul
Though all things feel unjust
You open up your heart
You find a way to trust

When fear engulfs your mind
Says you protect your own
You still extend your hand
You open up your home

When sorrow fills your life
When in your grief and pain
You choose again to rise
You choose to bless the name

That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming

In the mundane tasks of living
In the pouring out and giving
In the waking up and trying
In the laying down and dying

That's a little stone that's a little mortar
That's a little seed that's a little water
In the hearts of the sons and the daughters
The kingdom's coming

We have SO MUCH to learn...so much to seek out...so much to BECOME in the way of the Kingdom, but she's right...its in the little things...its in giving and turning away anger...the Kingdom has come to earth whenever we bless God in the middle of hard times...

i like to think of it with this picture... just imagine that somehow you could reach up and grab a corner of the sky and just peel it back..and imagine that everytime you took the time to pull back that veil, goodness and truth and mercy and forgiveness and grace would just come tumbling out of the heavens onto the earth...

Friends, we don't know what we want and even we catch the smallest glimpses we don't understand.

Let's turn from frustration in this and instead choose to embrace the great mystery of God and His ways...let's leave behind making lists and checking them off and feeling good about ourselves only when we can do that...let's instead think of Christianity like the great CS Lewis who said:

"I believe in Christianity as I believe in the sun...not because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

Let's wake to the sunrise each morning and believe God...let's let our belief in what we cannot understand color everything else we see with hope and possibility... let's look for small ways to unleash the Kingdom of Heaven in our own life and in the lives of those we love...let's seek what Jesus said can surely be found...let's look forward to the day when we will both know fully and be fully known in a way that infuses each day between now and then with wonder instead of the mundane....let's savor the One we can trust and begin each day asking Him to teach us what we want and to help us understand...

Let's not just talk about the Kingdom in an intellectual way...Let's participate in it.




Thanks for reading.. I hope as you digest it, that you don't see my words, but that you hear His voice.