well i guess today is 'national CONSUMERISM day' or something here in america. (i can poke fun since i have no attachment to the day after thanksgiving shopping- my fam just never did that) anyway, i am here at mom's and just saw the panic in some store owner's face as he was being interviewed on the news..it seems maybe people aren't buying enough! oh no! people! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!??! GO OUT AND BUY SOMETHING! CHARGE UP THOSE CREDIT CARDS! YOU NEED MORE! MORE!! MORE!!
ah..just a little bit of holiday sarcasm for you all this morning.
it makes me sad that this season of thanks and giving is now the spending spike that our economy depends on. it really does.
BUT i am not going to dwell on that...i just want to encourage all of you to visit www.worldvision.org and consider redirecting some of your Christmas budget to people who have needs beyond keeping up with the newest igadget.
(stepping down from my soapbox) we had a wonderful thanksgiving and i hope you did too. my mom's family holiday is thanksgiving..about half of her 7 siblings and children and childrens children come together for the day. its wild. its crazy. its LOUD. we actually considered imposing a 'law' that says the rest of married-in family must be quiet and subdued...not only to even out the genetics but simply because i think we have reached a volume threshhold at family get togethers.
the traditional turkey bowl had a new spin as this years the football teams were divided into the 'marrieds' and the 'singles'. the marrieds won the third game, breaking the tie. and now none of them can walk this morning. pride is a powerful thing, y'all. i think its a good thing there is no re-match this morning...shane limped out of the house to take his mom to the airport and shawn is moaning with every move. shane was the mvp of the game yesterday and shawn was last year...beth and i are so proud. the male cousins are happy with our hubby choices since we have upped the game's athleticism. and hey! they are both quiet and subdued too! we will just have to take a moment and pat ourselves on the back *grin*
you know, even with shawn's 'quiet' genes, cohen is the loudest of the kids. and that's saying something, friends. we had prayer at the end of the night and cohen started talking and cooing just as loud as ever so i walked down the hallway, wanting to still hear the prayers of my family...he was louder...so i went into the back bedroom and closed the door..my 17 year old brother came in and apologetically said "um, he's really loud...we can still hear him out there...?" i think i would've had to take him to the next county to not be heard. so he's got some serious holzbauer in him (yes my mom's name would've been holzbauer-adelsberger if she had been feminist enough to hyphenate it..thank God she wasn't! i wouldn't have been able to spell my name before middle school!) besides being loud, cohen was also the chubbiest baby and earned the nickname "the pillow" due to his...um...softness. *grin*
last night the cousins and my siblings and their significant others came over to watch a movie shane picked out. we popped popcorn the old fashioned way and visited...and then cohen woke up. screaming. so i think the movie was called 'shooter' or something but i really couldn't tell you because i spent the first hour and a half trying to cleaning out his nose with that little round sucker thing (he loved that, as you can imagine), trying to get him to nurse, and ultimately trying to get him to wind down into sleep....i say "trying" because stating any sort of success in those three categories would be a stretch for even me. i caught the last few minutes of the movie and basically what i got from it was the mark walberg's character could single-handedly take out a small army of people and a helicopter. great flick *grin*
anyway, it was really okay with me because i was tired. i am old, people. after a long day of eating non-stop and listening to a whole room full of Germans trying to talk over each other and out do the last story, i was ready to snuggle down in bed and fall asleep (even if it was to the sounds of whiny baby)
we woke up to a light dusting of snow this morning and i remembered how pretty that can be... it looks like someone sprinkled sugar on the fir trees...i love the way the sun glints off of snow..its kind of magical. i didn't even mind warming the car up. the cold air felt good in my lungs.
i felt thankful for it. and this morning, as i type, surrounded by my sweet family, i realize just how many things i have to be thankful for....a healthy, (mostly) happy baby. wonderful siblings (natural, adopted, and married-in). a legacy of togetherness and love...
and now that thanksgiving has passed, but i am determined to keep a spirit of thanks and giving as we move into the Christmas season. i want to develop traditions for my little family that make this time special... my mom was anti-consumerism (which is on my list of things i am thankful for) but to the point she really couldn't enjoy Christmas because it bothered her so much. do you have any thoughts about how to make this time special without focusing on gifts and spending? what does your family do? do you have any unique traditions? ...
..ones you wouldn't mind someone like, say, me, emulating...?
(can't wait to read your responses!)
Friday, November 23, 2007
thanks and giving (a prelude to Christmas)
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16 comments:
Kate... what you said about your Mom, I've began feeling that way this year. My Mom and my sister are out at those sales and I chose not to go - and not to buy any gifts this year. Sadly, I realize that people get caught up in what to buy and I've wanted to eliminate any risk of that for me. Plus, I'm sending the money that I'd normally use for gifts to GFA instead... which I think is a better choice.
Anyway, Christmas traditions? Hmm... I don't know if we have anything worth borrowing. *grin* Although, I come from a family of 8 and atleast half of us all get together on Christmas Eve at my older brother Bryan's house and we make Christmas cookies and candies. And that same night we also video tape everyone answering that years question. Last years was "would you rather recieve or give" and "what are some of the things that you are most thankful for."
And then Christmas day all 6 of my siblings and their families come over to my/our parents house and we eat, share about the past year, read the Christmas story (even though my whole family aren't Christians) we open gifts and then spend the rest of the day/evening together. We mostly do what every-other family does, so I'm guessing.
But still, I shared. :)
Hi Kate!
It's funny... I'm from the Netherlands and there is no tradition of giving gifts at Christmas here. The last couple of years some have started doing it, I think because we see people from other countries doing it.
We have 2 Christmas days here, Dec 25 we go to church and have a meal with family and Dec 26 there's a church service where the children usually perform some kind of Christmas musical.
Anyway, I think giving eachother a gift could be fun, I just don't really understand how giving gifts is related to Christmas, you know?
Oh, one thing I always do is "Operation Christmas Child". I love that.
I'm glad you had a nice Thanksgiving. We don't celebrate it, it's not known here and isn't a national holiday, but I wish we would. Sounds like a precious tradition :)
I think it's just about keeping it simple. My family has always had very modest Christmases, but we've still loved to give each other gifts and delight in receiving as well... from the days when we gave each other Skittles and paper jewelry, to now with books and CDs. It's fun to give as long as that's not the focus... the music, the cooking, the giving to others outside of the family is more a part of the "holiday spirit." My sisters and I were just talking yesterday about how sad it is that people like gas station attendants and movie store employees have to work on Christmas Day... and daydreaming about going around giving little gifts of chocolate or Swiss Miss or something since they had to work... I think it's just enjoy the season of giving while trying to keep consumerism at arm's length.
My parents didn't let me and my brother watch any TV with commercials in it. Basically, we just watched public television, so I didn't ask for much because I didn't see the toy commercials. I remember one year when I was about 5 the big gift I wanted was an old-fashioned night cap. I think I read too much Laura Ingalls.
I'm wondering if part of the reason I love reading your blog, is I miss the ways things used to be. Big, loud family get-togethers are becoming more of a thing of the past. People have moved and relationships have become fractured--never take things for granted, I guess. :)
One tradition we started years ago on my Dad's side is the reading of the Christmas story. Sometimes my Grandpa reads out of the Bible, other times it is a popup story book they have, for the sake of the younger grandkids. It is always something we do before opening presents. Kind of a reminder of the reason for the season. He is the greatest gift of all.
Our family is young so our traditions are pretty new, but these are the things I'm doing to keep connected to what Christmas means to me as a follower of Christ:
Starting November 30, I read an advent "journal" that Ann Voskamp (www.holyexperience.blogspot.com) wrote last year or the year before. She sold the books last year that contained both the devotionals and the paper ornaments that represented each of the stories as part of the "Jesse tree" leading up to the birth of Jesus. I have a little tree that I hang the ornaments on each day as I read each story.
I also have all my Christmas shopping done and wrapped and mailed by December 1. I spend parts of the Thanksgiving weekend writing out Christmas cards and addressing them so they can be mailed too. I did this last year in preparation for my son's December 9 birth and it was wonderful to not have to feel crazed through December. The week of Christmas, I went to the theatre to see The Nativity Story and it was such a special time of reflection, rather than stress. I know it's a bit organized and retentive to accomplish this, but it helps me stay focused on both enjoying the gift giving portion of the holiday and especially on being peaceful through the season.
I do all sorts of other random things like drink lots of hot chocolate, watch tons of Christmas movies (plus Fiddler on the Roof and especially It's a Wonderful Life) and drive around looking at lights. I go to Christmas craft festivals, parades, etc. I stay out of the stores as much as possible.
Oh! And if I haven't already hijacked your comments enough - I just remembered one other thing I've been doing for a few years...
So that I don't go on and on here - I'll link you to the post where I wrote about it a while ago...http://quiethereandnow.
wordpress.com/2007/11/23/
christmas-tradition
Someone told me once that we give gifts at Christmas to symbolize the gifts that Christ was given by the Three Wisemen. So someone at church told me that they only gave their children three gifts for Christmas because that was what Jesus got and her kids were no better than Jesus. I loved that Idea and it made perfect sense to me. So my children are 5, 2 and 8 months and this is the first year that we are really doing presents since my five year old knows about the holiday and that is what we are doing. Another friend I have told me about doing one toy, one book or movie and one outfit to reach the three items, which also sounded like a good idea. Our other traditions are seeing all the lights and Christmas movies, Christmas crafts and lots of Christmas love.
Kate,
My parents were really good about keeping things simple, but fun!
On Christmas Eve we would have a get together with friends from our church. We would sing songs, eat and have a birthday cake for Jesus and sing Him Happy Birthday.
On Christmas morning we started with each of us giving a gift to Jesus. It could be a verse we memorized, a picture we had drawn, a prayer or anything else we thought of. It started Christmas morning with a focus on Jesus' Birthday.
As my kids get older I would like to start those traditions.
As parents trying to keep the focus on Jesus' Birthday Jeff and I have started to do things with our family that focuses on His birth and not the consumerism that is so loud and bright.
For one thing, we only buy one gift each for our kids. There is no need to buy out the store, they get plenty of other things from family and I want them to feel loved but to not overindulge them. We also only put three little gifts in their stockings. Santa is never a big deal in our house. We do make him cookies but other than that we don't talk much about him.
One of my favorite traditions is to have my shopping done and wrapped and my Christmas cards done by December 1. In fact, I have been done with my shopping for a couple weeks now. One of the most important things we can all do to keep the focus on Christ is to not get caught up in all the chaos of the season. Instead of running around like a crazy during December I can bake with my kids, read Christmas stories to them, go to family and friend gatherings without feeling stressed. How can we tell our kids that the holidays are about Christ's birth and then become stressed and cranky because we have so many "things" to do?
For some reason this has become something that I am passionate about. I love the holidays but dislike how crazy people get about them. Our goal should be to make an impact on our kids and to create memories that will last a lifetime, not impress everyone by how much we can buy!
I hope you can start a few traditions with Shawn and Cohen this year. Cohen won't remember but it will make it fun each year to add to the traditions and make it special for Cohen.
growing up, my parents didn't put alot of money into christmas either - we generally each got 2 presents . . . and then one big family gift to share. if you start young, emphasizing the fact that christmas is not about presents . . . then there usually isn't any problems later.
when all of us kids lived at home, in our teens - we didn't do presents at christmas. instead, we planned little family getaways. not expensive trips to mexico or anything . . . but a few days at a little cottage on the lake, or something like that. and just spent the time together. get away from the city, and all its consumerism and just enjoy each other.
i have so many fond memories of christmas because of that - this year when i go home for christmas we have decided to do stocking presents - which is fun, but not stressful in itself :)
. . . but be creative. each family needs its quirks :)
Kate,
I was led to your blog through others, etc. I am sure you know how that goes. At any rate, I love it! I did want to say that hyphenation of a female's last name does not necessarily mean they are a feminist. I am from the south, and it is customary there to keep your maiden name either as your middle name or to hyphenate. Since I go by my middle name originally, I either had to go through a legal name change or just hyphenate. I actually just tacked my husband's last name onto the end of my name and I have 4 names... Though I do not hyphenate yet...my brother in law just married a girl w/ the same first name I have so I will be hyphenating soon for the purpose of my profession (attorney). Phew.. That was quite an explanation. At any rate...I have several friends who published thesises, etc. prior to marriage and therefore just kept their maiden names for professional purposes. I am classic in the sense that I wanted my husband's last name and tried to get away w/out hyphenation but now feel forced to do so b/c of the new sister-in-law and my desire to have my own identity!
hi kate! i thought i'd pass along a cool tradition that a friend started last year with her young family. (their kids are now 5, 3, & 2) she and her husband considered cutting out gifts altogether to avoid the consumerism mindset, etc, but decided there was still great value to be found in giving gifts. they involve their children in choosing thoughtful gifts for each other to open on Christmas morning. they start the morning with a happy birthday celebration (cake & all!) for Jesus... open gifts and do their thing... and then spend the afternoon choosing gifts from their current toy/game/book collection to give away to other children. then they load up the kids and what they've chosen, and they go to the children's hospital to give their gifts & spread some love!
Leaving Santa out of the picture is a good way to keep things simple (gift-giving wise). My kiddos asked at an early age if he was real and I couldn't lie...now we're able to focus on Christmas being Jesus' birthday...they love it! We also focus on DOING things together...and finding the ones we like and doing them every year. I know God will give YOU just the right traditions for your new, sweet family. Be blessed!
This is something that my husband and I are thinking about, as we now have our baby girl. We're not doing gifts this year, as she'll be spoiled by the grandparents and won't be in need of any single thing.
I'd love to spend Christmas day serving meals to those in need - to show Eden that Christmas is about giving.
In years past we gathered a group of our friends and sang carols at a local senior center. It was a blast sitting around, chatting to each person, as they told us a little bit about their life.
Of course, we want to focus on Christ's birth, so we'll do the Christmas story. I liked some of the suggestions that were mentioned above.
Are you going to do Santa? I'm leaning toward no, but we haven't decided.... I hope she wouldn't be missing out on something "magical"...
Sheri
Kate, thanks for sharing a bit about your Thanksgiving with family. Sounds like football was entertaining to watch. We decided to watch the Packers play the Lions instead of venturing outside for our own game - Wisconsin is just a bit too cold during November to play football outside. :)
Can't wait to see some more pics of Cohen...he's just adorable. I hope his teething fits get better soon. That's never an easy time for mom or baby! I hope you've been able to spend some good, restful time with your man now that he's home.
Hey Kate! My family doesn't really have super interesting traditions, but I wanted to share something a family in my church does. They have 3 children and for each of those children they sponsor a child the same age. The father shared that this has really been beneficial for their children; he has noticed a huge difference in their wants. At Christmas time, they get to pick out a gift they'd like to send to their sponsored child. It really gives perspective.
Also, my husband grew up in a large, wonderful family who, at certain Christmases decided not to give any gifts to each other but use all that money to give gifts to another family, or sponsor a family. Another thing they did that I just love is Secret Santa. The game lasted all December and not only did they buy each other small gifts, they had to find ways to serve each other anonymously the whole month. They left encouraging notes and had a blast trying to outdo each other.
It is so easy to get caught up, you are so right. This year, my husband and my first Christmas together, we decided to spend a very small amount on each other (which was fun because it's challenging!) and spend the rest of our money on GFA gifts.
Please post pictures of Cohen's first Christmas :)
P.S. Last night, my husband and I, with our best friends (another couple) watched "Reign Over Me" - on your recommendation! IT WAS SO GOOD. Drew and I talked about it the whole way home. Please keep making recommendations...so far, you're 2 for 2 :)
Hi Kate,
I am new to reading your blog and I really enjoy it and writing my own. I have a seven year old daughter and we are starting some new traditions and carrying on some old.
We do go see Santa every year, and last year was the first year she would sit in his lap. I like to encourage her to "play" Santa for others. I also tell her about a picture I have seen of Santa dreaming of Jesus and His birth.
This year, I found a site that has lots of patterns for snowflakes ( I have a link on my blog). They were kinda of hard for her but she tried. She was very excited about them and asked if we could put prayer requests and blessings we are thankful for on them before we hang them up! Who could argue with that?
She is also interested in filling a manger with hay. I read about this a couple of years ago and we talked about it but have not done it. She brought it up to me last night, so I guess we will do it. For every good deed, you get to put a piece of hay in the manger. The more you do, the fluffier the bed is for baby Jesus.
My mother made an Advent countdown calendar for me when I was a child. It is made of felt and has 25 day pockets on it. She had felt ornaments that went inside the pockets and you put one on the big felt tree in the middle each day. The ornaments don't stick like they used to, so I am working on tweaking it. I have been gathering Christmas trivia and Bible verses/trivia to place in each pocket with some sort of ornament or goody to place on the tree. It is still in progress!
Memories are the best when Christ is at the center!
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