regional passport offices and people with OCD tendencies don't mix

we are last minute.

always.

its like one thing you can count on with us.

so the same-day passport thing was put into play for procrastinating peeps just like us. i should be thankful for those regional passport places, but i am telling you, we just don't mix (and yes, i am the one with the OCD tendencies)

so we thought we were going to chicago on tuesday to get cohen's passport, but there were no appointments. (go figure, you can't get those with one day's notice) so on tuesday we hung around in lowell and went to the local social security office to get cohen's number.

i know. he's 7 months old. did i mention we are last minute?

his card never came and i was worried we'd need it for his passport. now i didn't need mine back in 2000 when i got mine, but things have changed since then. and the website says "you must have social security number. applicants without one will be changed an additional $500". am i kidding? i wish.

i was convinced getting this number would be a lengthy process. so i made shawn drive fast and was biting my nails because good grief! it was 1! and the office closes at 4! drive faster! of course, then we got there with all of our documents in hand..passports, drivers licenses, marriage certificate (just in case), birth certificates, hospital records. i was a nervous wreck. i checked about a hundred times to make sure what had everything and even though the man only needed to see cohen's birth certificate and our drivers licenses, i kept asking 'do you need to see this? or this?' he didn't.

and we walked out the door with cohen's social security number in hand. we got into the car. it was 1:20

still, i was stressed. did i put all of the above listed documents back in my zipped folder? if i checked once, i checked 20 times. i wrote his number on everything. then i worked on memorizing it just in case. i am pretty sure if you are even close to grand rapids you could find cohen's ss# on some scrap of paper nearby.

oh...i am serious. and it wasn't even regional passport office day yet, people.

so on wednesday, i woke up at 4am because i was determined that we needed to BE ON THE ROAD by 5. you know, just in case. i mean, traffic is bad in chicago. a 2.5hr trip could easily become 5, right? i mean, we under no circumstances could we miss the appointment! i was a nervous wreck, people. we left at 5:10 and i was ready to hyperventilate. we made a whole 3 miles before shawn had to give me a talkin' to. he pulled in mcdonalds and tried to talk to me about chilling out. all i could see what that digital clock ticking away. finally he ordered some coffees with a shake of his head, and mapped out our trip thanks to their free wifi.

i drove. and i drove fast. you can do that in michigan. (add that my plus column)

i talked manically to shawn, who probably wanted nothing more than to sleep, but he humored me anyway. we arrived in chicago at 8:00...2.5 hours practically on the nose. shawn smirked at me. i think we both wanted to kill me as we drove downtown. i am no city driver. the conversation we had a million times went just like this:

me: 'i wish you were driving. why didn't we trade off before the city?!?! i wish you were driving. why aren't you driving?!?!'
shawn: 'you are doing great' (i think he was trying to convince himself he was going to make it alive, but i was thankful for the affirmation anyway)

we made. i parked the car in a good spot in the VERY expensive parking garage. i crawled in the back seat with cohen and nursed him. shawn dressed him while i changed out of my sweats (yes in the car- no one was looking) i compiled all of cohen's needs for the day in one bag and then added my zipped folder of highly important info and a few other things. painstakingly we got cohen into his hat, coat, and slippers (we can't keep shoes on him..the slippers are tight above his ankle). shawn got his camera ready and packed his lenses and then carefully arranged the inexpensive items to cover over his guitar in the backseat. we checked and then i re-checked a few hundred more times. it was a production, people. then, we got out and just when shawn reminded me to lock the car i realized i couldn't find the keys.

it was already almost 9:00. our appointment was scheduled for 10:30 with the warning that if you didn't get there 15 minutes early your appointment would be given away.

oh did i mention we still needed passport photos? cause we did.
oh and did i mention we didn't know where the federal building was yet? cause we didn't.

we looked for a half an hour until shawn found them wedged in some strange place under his seat. i don't know how i did that, but i know i did. i remember taking them out of the original baby bag and then- nothing. i must've dropped them. anyway, by the time he found them we were sweating, praying, swearing (just being real). we chuckled a little to relieve the tension. then we took off running to the first CVS we saw.

of course, it took three people to finally take cohen's pic (and mine- name change requires new passport) and then to print them. we were watching the clock. the tension was back.

when they finally handed us the photos, we bolted.

the one thing that worked out all day was that we managed unknowingly to park 2 blocks from the federal building. thank you, Jesus!

we raced in and discovered the metal detector. of course,...federal building. we undressed our winter gear, put cameras and computers and purses and baby bags through the scanner and hurried upstairs. the guard asked us if we had an appt. and what time. we said "10:30" knowing we were getting close..so imagine our shock when he said "you're too early", but then begrudgingly let us get in line.

two important things here:
1. there is a LINE. that whole appt thing? little more than a ruse. people with appt and people without all just get in the same LINE. oh and that confirmation number i memorized? never asked for it. all i could think is 'we could've come tuesday after all! i re-arranged our schedule for nothing"
2. we were early...somehow.... 'oh wait! chicago is on central time isn't it babe?' oooohhh...yeah it is, babe.

so we waited in line with a wanting to nurse cohen. but the line was too line so instead i bounced.

for an hour and a half.

then they let us in to the 'real line' and told us to fill out the proper forms. cohen needed a new passport form. i needed a name change (yes..still hadn't changed it from 'adelsberger' to 'mcdonald'..told you i was last minute!) and shawn needed more pages added (lucky son of a gun!)

shawn filled out his and i filled out cohen and i's as fast as i could. why they wait to give you these forms only in the last ten minutes of the line is beyond me. where was cohen? oh, on the floor. just sitting on a blanket on that filthy floor. he occasionally would lean over and lick something and we'd use a foot to scoot him back. our hands were just too busy writing and praying to get out of there quickly. when the line moved ahead, we kind of pushed him along with our feet. people were staring at us and i realized 'oh we are those parents'. i remember when i was pregnant watching a woman pull her kid through security at an airport while he screaming and crying. i was critiquing her in my mind and now i am pushing my kid on a filthy floor. oh, and he was growling. its a new trick that came just in time. naturally.

it was our turn. i handed the guy a million important documents and started explaining. 'do you have proof of travel?' we did. on the computer. he said we had to print it. i said i called and was told they only need to see it not have a copy. "sorry, someone told you wrong'

so shawn had to leave and go in search of a place to print. i went to the bathroom and nursed cohen. on the floor. an indian woman came in and nursed in solidarity with us. we talked about diaper rash and nursing in public. it was riveting.

shawn found a UPS that allowed him to print, went back through security, and came with all three confirmation of flights. we got back in line.

an hour later, cohen was in full blown i-need-a-nap-meltdown. he was arching his back, crying, screeching, growling, flailing his arms, and occasionally breaking down into a real tear inducing sob. just before they called our number (1265- not that i drove myself crazy memorizing and straining to hear it or anything) cohen fell dead asleep. this new guy? oh, he didn't ask for flight confirmations or even social security numbers.

perfect.

we left for a few hours while they processed our forms. we went to panera because it looks warm even when its freezing cold in chicago. we had intentions of shopping a little on michigan ave (let's hear for H&M!) but we thought cohen should nap first. who knew getting him to fall asleep again would take roughly 2.5 hours? shawn had to have walked him for a solid hour in panera. he was growling again. and loudly. at first people smiled at the little cutey. but the smiles had pretty much stopped within the first 5 minutes.

oh, well, except for shawn and i. we couldn't quit laughing. you should hear him growl...really. its hysterical. especially when people are all watching you try to calm your kid and he is winding up more and more in almost the exact degree you are working at calming him.

i need to find that lady from the airport and apologize.

it was a laugh or cry day. thanks to cohen we laughed.

can one of you please remind me to never ever wait till the last minute to get a passport again? thanks.

oh, and while you are at it, how bout helping remember not to be so last minute ok?

tall order, huh?

well i need to get going. i am sitting at mcdonalds sucking down coffee, trying hard to get geared up for my hour home from the airport. i have now been awake since 3am thursday morning. not good. i'll tell you why later. its another heck-of-a-day kind of story.

i am loading you guys up with blogs to read while i am away. i know, i know..i'm so nice.