some thoughts on grief

(from March 28)

if you haven't seen 'reign over me', go.

i mean it. right now. quit reading this blog and find when and where its showing and buy yourself a ticket...the blog will wait.

ok? got plans? good.

shawn and i went and saw it tonight after some seriously amazing sushi thanks to our favorite sushi chef, mel. he never disappoints.

sometimes movies do, but not this one.

it was the perfect blend of touching moments that will have tears streaming down your face and spontaneous moments of laughter. don cheadle is as good as ever and adam sandler was surprisingly up to par. for once, the characters are good, moral men that you can love. it was worth the insane $18 we paid for our two seats.

one moment in the movie had me thinking about something beth said a few days earlier. a dear friend of ours suddenly lost his dad to a heart attack/blood clot in the brain combo on sunday. our friend had been on the road and beth flew in sunday just hours before they had to turn off the respirator. when i talked with her a few days later she said the hardest part was going back to the house, seeing his things lying where he had left them just a few days before, completely unaware that he would never return. family and friends came, they went through journals and clothing, and they cried. i thought about that 'hardest thing' as adam sandler recounted the ways his daughters had their hair cut and what they loved to do. and i cried.

i thought about the scenes from his house...with rooms cluttered with things covered in sheets he had never been able to go through. i looked at shawn, who was clutching my hand tightly, and saw he also was moved to tears.

we cuddled a little closer. i knew we were both thinking the same things....about our friend and his dad..about how unbelievable it seems that our parents will someday die... about the baby in my belly and how devastating it would be to bury a child.

death is a funny thing.
it doesn't seem real.
my mom said she read somewhere that it takes 7 years to grieve someone you were close to...

..i believe it.

a friend and i were talking on the phone yesterday and she was saying how she watches sappy movies so she can cry and grieve the disappointments in her life.

"we (as humans) just don't know how to grieve" we both agreed as the conversation drew to a close.

i thought about adam sandler, touched my belly, and cried a little more on my way home.