meandering all the way to limbo-land

i usually have some sort of a 'working title' when i begin to blog...not so tonight...not sure where this is going to go...

feel like meandering, friends?

i just hung up the phone after chatting for a much-needed-while with sister beth...i got to fill her in on the 'happenings' and then hear what she is learning. she pointed me to a website of must-listen music (www.isamusiconline.com) and ironically enough, i had reviewed it in ccm's september issue...and then promptly forgotten about it. i was glad for the reminder to turn it on...

you know, its funny...i love music...my sister, soon-to-be-brother-in-law, and husband all sing for a living...i review indie albums..and YET i really don't listen to music much. (note to self: maybe i shouldn't say that?) its not that i don't want to most of the time...i just get doing stuff and forget to put it on. the only time i really don't like to listen to music is in the car. i like to have conversations then or to pray or to just talk out loud to myself. i know- i am weird.

ANYWAY...

while i was talking with her, jetti came upstairs and peed in the hallway..,dad was sitting in the living room and she goes to the door when she needs to go out, but he didn't realize that was "the" signal...and i no more than cleaned up her mess when i heard cohen crying in the bedroom. it took a few minutes for me to get him changed and fed and back asleep...all the while i am pressing my ear into the phone desperately trying to soak in beth's profound take on the story of david and jonathon's crippled son.... whew!

i wouldn't trade cohen for a million days each full of a million hours to do with whatever i wanted...but even so, i must admit i had a lot more time to read and pray and think profound thoughts before he came into the world. now my reading, praying and especially thinking (even i can even call it that these days) is broken into many fragments punctuated by his various, continual needs. you know, i think paul might have mentioned that a woman is even MORE divided when she becomes a mother than when she becomes a wife....*grin*

hmmmm

but its good. really. and i mean that. he's such an amazing GIFT. sometimes i just look at him and wonder how in the world we got such a beautiful, happy baby. i mean, c'mon who in the world deserves this level of cuteness? to look at? and enjoy? EVERY DAY?




he smiles almost all day and now he giggles a ton...mostly at josh, who has a knack for being over the top silly and sometimes at whoever is playing peek-a-boo well enough. he started eating fruit this week...he's crazy over bananas although his digestive system isn't so thrilled! and so far he likes licking apples, but he won't actually swallow any of them that i pureed. the other major thing he started doing is STANDING. i mean, (i promise this is true) he was able to stand holding just one of our fingers at 8 weeks. but now, he can pull himself up and stand. he was sitting on my lap and he sort of lunged at my dad's recliner, grabbed a hold, tightened all of his little core muscles and pulled himself to a standing position. he looked so proud of himself as he spread his legs apart and got a good solid stance. he was there long enough for me to get some pictures...(this was the only non-fuzzy one since he was moving around so much!)


this kid is going to walk so early, i bet he doesn't even crawl.

oh, and he was 6 months on monday. insane.

monday was a day... shawn left for michigan around noon. did i mention shawn was going to michigan? i think i meant to, but then didn't. (see i told you thinking doesn't come easy as a mom!) anyway, shawn is going to be staying in the grand rapids area for awhile with some dear friends of mine (initially- now they are ours). pastor jason (www.jasonholdridge.blogspot.com) and his amazing wife, heidi, have been friends of mine for going on 10 years now. pastor j came into my life when i was a junior in high school and he was fresh out of college, newly married, and took a pastoring job in our sleepy town. he was dynamic as a person and as a pastor and shook up a lot of people's notions about what youth ministry was supposed to look like. i would not be overstating anything to say that his coming to bellefontaine changed my life.

i respect him and his family and ministry immensely. about four years ago he moved to michigan to work with a church plant there... and in this season of stuff our family is going through, pastor j and heidi, have by the sweet grace and leading of God, committed to coming alongside us...and in the most practical ways they are coming alongside shawn.

let's call it mentoring.

so shawn will be spending a bit of time there, four hours north of us, serving in quiet, not out front kind of ways at the church, working under pastor j, living in their basement, maybe even working a regular ole job, and whatever else God requires. its a good thing. i suppose (in this ONE case) that we are used to spending mass amounts of time apart. well, maybe not, but that sure does sound positive, doesn't it? (patting myself on the back for being so glass half-full)

no, in all seriousness...i am thrilled that j and heidi are being so generous with their life and their time and it makes me feel very LOVED by God that He would put such a tugging on their hearts for us. most of you know shawn's background so i won't feel the need to explain, but suffice it to say that its good for him to have time to just BE with a family for awhile. so many men don't really grow up with a dad who is intentional about validating, affirming, and shaping them, you know? shawn's grandpa is rad, but there's an undeniable age gap and that comes with its own issues...

my pastor here, pastor ricks, is really firm on the notion that we all need a spiritual father here on earth...someone whose vision and calling we can line up with, serve under..someone whose spirit we'd like to "catch"...someone to really pastor us...i think that term is really misunderstood in our overly religious Christian environment...we too often experience pastors as the talking-head of the church..someone who is elected into the position by one means or another, who spends the week with their nose in books, and then delivers a message with cleverly labeled points in the most charismatic manner they can muster up...i don't mean pastor in that sense...i mean a man appointed by God to shepherd a group of people that God has gathered...someone who God wakes in the middle of the night to pray for the sheep in his flock..someone who drives all over town looking to find you when God has laid something on his heart for you...someone who knows your name and gifts and weaknesses and loves you like a father...someone who isnt afraid to discipline you and tell you the truth...not someone who butters you up and flatters your pride so you won't take your tithe to another building...

jason is a shepherd and God put shawn on his heart. so shawn is there, being pastored. and we are THANKFUL for the provision of God even if it means there is some time and space between us.

God knows what He is doing.

in the meantime, as much as i love my family, we are moving out. its been a great couple of months of just chillin' with the fam... but the other day, i realized MY MOM IS DOING MY LAUNDRY...and within a milisecond, i knew it was time to go. the house still hasn't sold so we may be setting up camp here for awhile until we can afford to do something else, but there is something about going home that makes anyone feel like a child again. still, i HAVE a child..i am not one so its time to spread those independent wings once again.

luckily my aunt deb owns a house on the edge of town and the bottom floor just became available. the big, old brick home sits on 5 acres (perfect), has floor to ceiling windows (perfect), a huge front porch (perfect), a garage and a barn (perfect), hardwood floors (perfect), amazingly wide old trim (perfect) and huge open kitchen (PERFECT!!!) the bottom floor is actually notably larger than our seattle home and the upstairs is being rented to 3 college age girls from the church. i can't wait to get in there... we are going to rip up the carpets and refinish the old hardwoods and paint the whole thing. she just got the house last summer and hasn't had much time to work on it since she rented it out right away. so once it is unoccupied, i am going to be spending the first half of my nights after cohen goes to sleep, driving into town and sanding and painting. i love that stuff... and at least this time, we are going to be able to do the work BEFORE we move our stuff in. (that's a lesson you only have to learn once, friends!) and i am excited to get to know the girls better...college was a great time in my life and leading my Bible study was the highlight. i am praying God will give me opportunities to love on them, talk with them, and maybe even have a slumber part or two.

i will post before and after pics when i have them. (of the house that is!)

hopefully our house will sell soon, but its good to know that even its awhile, we have a really great, affordable housing option that works with the dogs AND a marvelous landlord to boot (see the post just prior to this one!)

i am always wishing for a "pause" button in life...you know, a chance to throw up the "T" gesture for a sizable time-out...to think, pray, SLEEP...and its just not often that you get that opportunity. so even though i would rather not be making a mortgage payment on an empty place, i am not going to complain. we've needed this stint in limbo-land to kind of mull some things over in our minds and make some serious decisions...

we knew we weren't supposed to be in seattle. nashville seemed like the obvious option. but then we got the house up on the market, moved our stuff to ohio to wait for a sale, and all the while our confidence in nashville as our new homeward destination seemed to be crumbling. we didn't talk about it for awhile..both thinking the other one might be frustrated to hear doubt after we'd already put ourselves out on the limb of faith...but then one of us gave a voice to the feelings and found we were in the same boat.

i think shawn said it at least once a day for the last month we were living under the same roof: it doesn't feel good to not have a home.

and no, it doesn't.

i know the brick house won't be 'home' for long just like shawn's hole-ing up in pastor j's basement won't be forever either, but maybe it does explain my excitement over painting and sanding. maybe i am hoping to work my way into some homey comfort.

i know the Lord has a lot to speak to us in this season...tomorrow is the first day of november and in this upcoming month of thankfulness (my fav holiday!) i feel the Lord calling for it to be a season of fasting in my life...so i am sure i have watched my last bit of mindless dribble on the tv, done my last google search, and eaten my last non-daniel style meal for awhile. even as i write that, i feel a yearning to go deeper...to drink deeper...to draw closer...

and my heart his anxious to hear. i am thirsty for His Words on all of these matters that concern us...knowing where He is planting us; the place we are to set some roots and serve...well that really doens't even make the top 5 of issues i am wanting His leading in, but maybe He will share it with me anyway...who knows? or maybe we'll just sit and be together...that would be fine with me...

ANYWAY, all of this meandering is making me sleepy and sleep has its value here in limbo land, friends. so good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite and all that jazz.

much loves
kate