if insomnia had a face, i'd punch it

welll....friends. its 2:11am and i am STILL VERY AWAKE.

and you know what? its illogical. i woke up early with cohen, was awake half the night with cohen last night, and have been sleeping like literal crap for over a week now. logic says i should be on the verge of the kind of exhaustion that puts those movie-star-party-girls in the hospital every other week (of course mine hospital stays would actually be caused from exhaustion and not alcohol...minor difference, but you know what i am saying)

UGH. i want to sleep! if you are one of those people who falls asleep the minute your head hits the pillow and wakes in the morning when the alarm goes off...if that's you, with your perfect 8 hours of sleep every night, then i forbid you to continue reading this post!!!... we can't be friends anymore.

its not you, its me. as an insomniac, i just can't find it in my heart to like people like you who have deep, undisturbed sleep.

(please hear the SARCASM- you know i love you)

anyway....i am not sure what has happened to me. i mean, i have struggled with this my whole life (yes, even as an infant), but lately things had been better. i felt tired at night and woke up somewhat refreshed in the morning. heck, i was even nursing without really waking. but now i am back to this...

i just can't turn my brain off, people. i think during the day thre's nowhere for me to put my thoughts since i am focused on cohen...and then at night i have a whole day's worth of processing to do! when cohen finally nods off (he has troubled sleeping too), i just unwind for a while and then here come those pesky thoughts...and before i know it, its 2am and i am staring at the ceiling or watching cohen sleep with great jealousy.

what's a girl to do?

ok well i don't want to waste a whole post writing about how i am not sleeping, which is obvious enough i don't need to say it... so let me tell you some recent joe and josh stories...but just a few....

think of it as your reward for reading this far.


I AIN'T SCARET OF DOCKERS!

joshy (who is now insisting on being called 'bubby') is really scared of going to the doctor. you probably would be too if you were on a medical card and got treated more often than necessary at clinics because your (bio) mom liked the attention and wanted something to do besides sitting on her butt watching tv all day..(man, lack of sleep doesn't make someone nicer, does it?) ANYWAY, suffice it to say that josh has had many bad experiences with doctors is rather scared of them. he got strep throat last week and had to go...he was pitching a fit about it and crying and carrying on. then just he walked out of his room and right up to mom. "guess what, mommy? jesus said to my heart 'YOU AIN'T SCARET OF DOCKERS, BOY!!' and i ain't scaret no mo." he said it with such conviction and so loudly that we all had to restrain ourselves from laughing until he left the room. and who knows, right? maybe that's just how jesus said it to his little ghetto, 3 yrd old heart!


NURSERY RHYMES GONE BAD
joe was singing nursery rhymes and songs in the back of the car while we drove. its not out of the ordinary for him to mix and match the lines/lyrics but this was the best one we'd ever heard: joe singing just as sweetly as possible, "mary had a farmer in the dell" (i promise, that's true! *grin*)


11 OR 12 WIVES
while i was house-sitting for my aunt mary and shawn was fishing in michigan, joe and josh came and spent an afternoon with cohen and i. we were working on puzzles and talking about life. the boys gave me some great revelations. joe was working intently on the puzzle and telling me how he is going to marry 'iley'(ireland), a little girl from his class. he kept telling me 'she look like berry 'ortcake!' in his best loud voice accompanied by his best sort-of-bashful expression. (i think he thinks being louder will make it less embarressing) the cutest part is that iley really DOES look like strawberry shortcake.

i asked him how old he thought he should be before he got married and he quickly said "18". that was closer than i expected. he then told me 'her daddy don't care!' i smiled.

later when i asked him how many peices he wanted his bagel cut into and he said '18!' and when i asked how old he thought i was '18!' and then how many girls he likes '18!' and then how many is he going to marry?

'maybe 11 or 12'. hmmm...i thought maybe everything was going to be answered with a resounding '18!', but it seems like he thought about that last one...*grin*


CHINA BABY
the same afternoon josh was playing with one of cohen's toys...its a tummy mat with a spot that has water in it and little floating fish. josh asked 'how you maked this?'

i assured him i didn't make it or know how it was made, i just bought it at the store. i didn't want to get into a long convo of 'whys'...then josh asked me who did make it and to humor myself i quipped 'probably someone in china'. i said it mostly under my breath, but leave it to josh to pick up on every word.

"china? i used to lib in china..."

i looked at him with surprise; he looked at me just to check if i was buying it. i played along. i wanted to hear where this would go...

"...i libbed in china when i was a baby."

"you did?" i egged him on.

"yep. shore did."

"how long did it take you to get there?"

"umm...a wong, wong time. its far far away"

"did you walk there?" i asked.

"no silly! its far far away. i taked a airpane."

"how long was your airplane ride, joshy?"(he corrected me "bubby")

"it taked 18 weeks!" (i guess he caught on to that whole 18 thing too)

"wow..what did you do there?"

"i was a teacher. i teached babies and big tids!"

"what did you teach them?"

josh looked over at cohen, who was kicking his little legs wildly and said "i teached babies to tick like tohen! and i teached them to grow...big like ME!"

what could be more fun than just asking questions and seeing where a little kid will take a story...!?!? i think at 3 thte line between reality and imagination is pretty blurry...by the end of the conversation, he thought he had convinced me and i think he did convince himself. he's now telling everyone he was born in china!



MY LAST NAME IS...
on my aunt's wall there hangs pictures of her 4 sons and their children. now my maiden name is adelsberger and my aunt's first husband's last name was rodenberger. josh and joe wanted to look at each picture and say the grandkids names. "that's riley and brody and alec!" exclaimed josh. joe put in his two cents "there's addy!" we went through this drill about a million times in one afternoon, naming each kid every time. josh finally took a breath and paused and looked at me.

'what's cohen's last name?' he asked (at preschool, he is just figuring out people have first and last names, but why some people's are the same and some are different is still lost on him)

"mcdonald" i answered.

'what's your last name, tadie?'

'mcdonald' i told him. i hesitated to explain cohen's and mine are the same since i am his mommy. the boys think of my mom as their own so the fact that their last names aren't the same could potentially be confusing. while i was mulling that over in my mind, joshy started rapid firing

...."what's shawn donald's last name?'

"mcdonald, silly,' i answered (they think his first name is shawn donald...of course they think shane's first name is 'shane and shane' and that the other shane is his brother...so lots of things are confusing to them)

then josh started asking me the last names of all of the little kids on the wall of pictures. it ended up that my answers were something like this: "adelsberger, adelsberger, rodenberger, adelsberger, rodenberger, rodenberger" etc.

josh took it all in and started back on the puzzle. then he paused and looked up. 'want to know my last name? its (he looked at the tv) jimmy neautron-jesus (his favorite person)- BERGER!"

i stifled my laugh and asked again, 'what was that last name?' this time he said it louder and with great enthusiasm "JIMMY NEUTRON-JESUS-BERGER"

I tried to convince him not every last name ends with 'berger' but it was in vain.



ok...tiredness is coming on and i am going to try to make nice with mr sleep rather than wasting my time fighting with mr insomnia...

later, friends.

*hey 3 posts in 4 days, arne't you proud of me?