blond hair, bridesmaid dresses, and my bro

did anyone see where september ran off to!?!? i mean, i know time gets faster and faster as you get older, but GOOD GRIEF.

my baby brother, aaron, gets married in 2 days. my husband is somewhere in kansas on his way to see us and will be here tomorrow. yeah... we've got a just a few things going on here.

today i was looking at cohen and thinking of how all of my picture-sending and story-telling could never have adequately prepared shawn for how much his son has changed in these last weeks. he's gained 4 lbs and gone from being a tiny infant who mostly cried all day to one who giggles, smiles non-stop, mimmicks sounds and expressions, can do push ups like its his job, can sit up with little-to-no help, and is independent enough to fall asleep without nursing.

i am excited for them to see each other again...to hang out and cuddle. and i am sad cause its been awhile and i am praying that all of those phone conversations will have helped cohen to remember his daddy.

to say his coming tomorrow is going to be a mixed bag of emotions would be the understatement of my life.

so how i am dealing with it? i colored my hair. one of the best roommates i ever had, brittany, wrote a poem once about how every time something happened with a guy, she changed her hair. so, shawn and i have this meeting up after 6 weeks of living across the country from one another and i thought 'why not dye my hair?' actually my dad dyed it. for years i have been watching him color my mom's hair and so something came full circle tonight as i sat in front of his recliner and let him work his magic on my blah locks. about half way through i started worrying that it would turn out orange or fall out altogether...wouldn't that be great? bad hair for a wedding AND bad hair when you first see your husband after a long time apart?

you know you never really get used to the coming and going of your husband, even if it is what's 'normal' for your lifestyle. it never gets easier. ugh.

UGH.

ok. blonds have more fun, right? i am blonder, so let's move on to something 'funner'. (for the record, shawn says 'funner' and it makles me crazy and beth just recently informed me that shane also says 'funner' and it makes her nuts... and my dad says 'walmarts' and 'illinoiS' and it makes my mom want to pull her hair out..guess its something us girls look for in man- improper pronunciation! *grin*)

some fun news... i am FIANLLY losing this baby weight! i was really depressed when i first tried on my bridesmaid dress for the wedding. it wouldn't zip, people. all of my friends swore that nursing just took the weight off of them. i had visions of fat just floating off of me while cohen and i shared a special feeding moment. when we ordered these dresses i was still preggo and thought SURELY in 5 months i would be back to pre-baby shape and ordered my dress accordingly.

(i guess i forgot to tell myself i am not a celeb mommy.)

although i feel like pretty much ALL i have done since cohen took his first breath is nurse...nurse..NURSE... my visions of fat floating away turned out to be more like a ridiculous fantasy rather than a true vision. i kept trying to remind myself that my midwife said it would take my organs, hips, and other things 4 months to go back to their original location. sitting on the edge of my bed she encouraged me that, 'a lot of women lose more weight in the second 6 months after birth than those first 6 months. for a lot of women, the 4 month mark is magical"

well ABRA CADABRA, friends!

in the last month i have lost 19.5lbs! i am back to running (maybe we should call it jogging at this point) and sleeping better and eating well and best of all, NOT WEARING PREGGO CLOTHES. i still have about 12 pounds to get back to pre-baby weight, but i feel very encouraged that it is going to happen. (i was starting to wonder)

certainly, weight isn't everything. but there is something wonderful about feeling like yourself. i look in the mirror the other morning and was like, 'hey! that;s my face! my face is back!' i had almost forgotten what i looked like after living with my pregnancy-altered body for nearly a year. and it feels good to remember.

and it feels even better to be able to zip that dress.

i really am looking forward to the wedding this weekend. i am so honored to be apart of two amazing people coming together in such a sacred union. i love my brother...he's such a great, solid guy. he always has been tremendous, but somehow becky has managed, just by her mere presence, to make him an even better man. he laughs harder now. he communicates better and more frequently. he might even just be a few inches tall when she's around... becky is like sunshine. her eyes light up when she giggles. she is a fan of comfy clothes. she is sweet but she has backbone. she IS the third sister...

i am SO happy for them.

ahhh...okay, well i am having trouble sleeping like a kid on Christmas Eve, but cohen is stirring and if i don't clothes this laptop he's going to get good and awake...

so, g'night friends. God bless.