Trading Spaces...with myself

I woke up Thursday morning at 5:00 AM, packed up the last of the merch, and woke Shawn and Neal up...they packed the car and I drove to the airport. By the time I had dropped them off and driven home, the sun was out and the birds were chirping happily. In Kate's World, that translates 'no sleep for you!' I have never been good at sleeping anyway and once I am up and moving...forget that, even if I am not up and moving, when the sun lifts off the horizon and catapults into the sky, its over...sleep is impossible.

So I got home and was mildly annoyed at that birds and the sun, feeling the tiredness hanging to my bones. I sat down in the living room and my annoyance with the morning morphed into frustration with the carpet. Our house is old and basically needs everything done or re-done, as the case my be. The carpet was basically ruined when we moved in and with puppies, even having it cleaned on several occasions...well it was nasty.

I sat there until 8, contemplating my revenge on the carpet. By 8:15, a large portion of the carpet was ripped up and thrown (yes, I am serious) out the window. I started ripping by the closet, where a small portion of the wood floor could be seen without much effort. I tugged and it easily lifted. I wish that had been the case with the whole room...at one point I was pulling so hard that I literally fell back on my bum. Do you ever have moments you wish someone was around to have a good chuckle at you? It was one of those moments. I ended up using a razor to cut the carpet into sections (this helped a bit) when it had all been loosed from the trim around the bottom of the walls, I rolled it up and did my best to carry it out of the house. The orginal plan was to go out through the kitchen onto the back patio. Who knew carpet could be so HEAVY?!?! I am no weenie, friends, and I could not even budge the giant roll of carpet...I heaved and hoed with my best effort and at one point even grunted like a weight lifter, but to no avail. With a last ditch effort, I separated the carpet into sections, re-rolled it, and popped out the screen of the closest window. That's how the carpet came to exit from the window. Silly? of couse! But I couldn't very well leave the carpet in the room....especially once I had seen what lie beneath the carpet and terrifyingly NASTY orange floor padding...the wood had been stained, painted, patched...patched, painted, stained... I was tired after an hour of tugging and ripping and lifting and yet those wood floors needed some serious 'elbow grease' , as my mom would say. I got a glass of water and surveyed the situation.

I decided to deal with the staples and nails first. I found a hammer and pliers and went to work. Two hours and about a thousand staples later, I had raw hands and a hole-y floor. All the furniture was moved into the kitchen and entry way so I could not make it to the frig, but I was starving. I stopped in at Subway on my way to Home Depot.

I think men in Home Depot are akin to men away at war...the act like they have haven't seen a woman in years. And trust me, friends, I wasn't looking too swell. I was wearing my orange mesh shorts that have been used in numerous painting jobs and a shirt of the same caliber. But when I stepped through the doors marked 'tool rental' I might as well have been blood in shark infested waters. Funny that on my way out the door, I had almost decided to change my clothes when I caught sight of myself in the car windows. The old men who went from being a group of 2 to 4 in minutes swarmed around me, asking question after question about the floors...I finally had to say. 'I just want to rent a sander and a shop vac, PLEASE' with a little force in my voice. They showed me how to use both over and over again arguing over the instructions with one another....they quesitoned each other ('If I had checked you out, I would have given you more sandpaper" said the one whose apron read 'BIG JIM'. The skinnier of the bosses (bosses are readily apparent in these settings) rolled his eyes, 'Honey, I will give you your money back if you don't need to return some of the sandpaper!') They jockeyed for position. ('He never gives good deals, and usually I am tough as nails too, but you are so cute, I am going to give you this one for free.' I tried to refuse, but he wouldn't have it. Thanks, Big Jim.) Looking anything but cute and feeling much worn out by the hour it had taken to get the necessary tools and paint from HD, I got into my car and drove home.

Since they had loaded the car for me, I had no idea the sander weighed almost as much as me. I went to pull it out of the car and nearly killed my back. our hose is built into hill so the main floor is really a flight of stairs up. I wanted to cry. But instead, I lugged it into the house. This was a very long process...lift ("with the legs", I said out loud to remind myself), move 2 inches, drop...lift, move, drop...a hundred times over. I was relieved to be in the house until I realized that in all of their flirting (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth) they had forgotten the cords and plug ins for the sander.

I went back and BIG JIM was less and less amusing. "Um...I think you forgot to give me the necessary plug in?" I was working at being friendly. He smiled a smug, condescending, girls-shouldn't-use-tools smile and piped back, "Honey, don't you have a three pronged plug in?" I wanted to say "I am not an idiot", but instead I took a deep breath, "no, actaully you didn't give me the cord." He smiled that same smile and waved at me to hold on while he finsihed with another customer. I started looking around for the cord myself, which I promptly located. I showed it to him, his smile changed slightly. "well how did that happen?" Before he could blame it on his skinny accomplice, I said "no big deal" and went out the door. Once it had closed I muttered "how did it happen? flirting with girls who could be your granddaughter. That's how"

I took it out on the floor. I sanded and sanded until the carpet glue and paint and stain had faded and the shop vac sucked up the dust that was hanging in the air like sand in sand storm. I was just about to pat myself on the back for a job well done when I realized that 110lb sander had to get back into the car. Somehow. I lugged it out to the car but lifing it the necessary 2.5 feet into the car was not happening. Even my 'lift with your legs' mantra fell short. I took my dusty, paint clothes self to the neighbors house, looking far worse at 4pm than I had at noon. Jay and John lifted the beast into the car and I know went and had a hearty chuckle at my expense. I didn't care...mission accomplished.


I was the one with a smug smile as I returned the tools within the time limit (they were sure I couldn't do this...just a 'little thing' like myself). The final steps...seal and paint were a breeze in comparison to the earlier back breaking work of the day. I did them cheerfully and with a spring in my step while listening to the mix of songs I had labeled 'work it GURL'. I painted myself right out of the house and hobbled to Thursday night Bible study.

Shawn gets home tonight and unless he reads this post, this will all be a suprise to him. Hope he likes it. Cross you fingers.

We repainted the walls the day before he left and bought our first couch and talked about the whole floor thing...

if he doesn't hate it, I will post pics of the finsihed product. Maybe even before and after pics...just call it TRading Spaces.