Part 1..Why I Believe

Some of you who have been reading for awhile might remember some references to and stories about a girl I know who owns a local coffee shop. Her name is Amber.

Amber and I became friends this fall as I frequented her coffee shop on California Ave. She was the new owner of the place who took out the big overstuffed couches I had orginially visited to enjoy. But there was something in her that drew me to her (or maybe something in me or both) so I let the whole couch thing go and sought her out.

She's a party girl no doubt. Lived all over the world with millions of fascinating stories and experiences. Right off the bat, I didn't want her to know I was a Christian. Not because I am ashamed of Jesus, but because sometimes I am ashamed of the way people who call themselves treat people like Amber. My suspcisions that it might leave a bad taste in her mouth were confirmed almost immedaitely, as she told me stories of her encounters with 'religious' people. I didn't want her to think I was only her friend to get her into church...and I wasn't. Over the past few months we have had a couple of spiritual conversations...vague ones. I have always felt I should hold back and hear what she thinks and only answer when she asks me.

At one point, I started to feel bad about not being in her face honest. I checked my spirit and realized that guilt was rooted in philosophies that were put on my by "christian" organizations and not God. So I have been just loving her and being her friend. period. no strings attached. not hiding, not pushing.

Last thursday I was running tour errands and felt a nudge to visit her. Mind you, it was the crazy week with zero free time and I had 3 more errands to accomplish before catching the ferry to the show in Bremerton. It didn't even feel like a nudge from God. It felt more like a desire for a good hot soy chai and a little human conversation.

So with the pups in the back seat and a lot to do, I parked outside the cafe and headed in. I stopped short. Amber looked like she had been on a drinking binge for a week. Her eyes were dark and puffy and her face was swollen. When she saw me she started to sob. I held her as she told me about the awful events that had unfolded. Her boyfriend's mom had died that morning. It was a tragic story.

Mikey (the boyfriend) is one of five kids from a well off family. THey own a yacht club or something. His youngest sibling left for college this year and the mother (unknown to anyone) had started drinking heavily. A month back they found a spot and told her she had cancer. She had some biopsies and they didn't know it at the time, but she started bleeding internally. She was picked up for drunk driving a couple of nights before and landed herself in jail. here's this wealthy woman, well known in the community who was sitting in jail and had to be bailed out by her husband. Everyone was worried. He brought her home and put her to bed, completely baffled by the events of the night, and in the morning she was dead. The internal bleeding took her life. That same mornign a boutique of flowers arrived from the hospital congratulating her on not having cancer.

As she recounted and as I listened, the story crushed us. Amber couldn't pull it together. I held her hand and cried. "I feel so unprepared to deal with this!" she sobbed.

For a moment her expression stilled and she regained a little composure as she searched my face. "This can't be all there is, right?" I smiled into her face, "no, I don't think so, Amber." She wiped some tears away, "What do you think happens when we die?"

My inner parts leapt. It wasn't a question of debate or a philosophical question...it was sheer desperation. These are the moments of honesty we want with people. This is where Truth wins out.

I told her as simply and as comforting as I could. "I believe there is a God, Amber, and part of us that live forever." It wasn't exhaustive or analytical. I didn't pull out the Bible. The situation called for my heart to engage with hers. I didn't say anything else. Hope came to hear face where formerly I had only seen fear. I gave her my number and told her to call. As I went out the door she followed me. "You go to church right?" I nodded. "Think you could pick me up next Sunday?" I hugged her.

I got into my car and SAra GRoves' voice was in the middle of one of the best choruses arguably ever written. Please listen to the song..its called "Maybe There's a Loving God" I wept in the car and then raced home to burn a copy for Amber. As I drove back to the coffee house I held that burned disc in my hand and asked God to bless it.

Friends, this is the Kingdom.